You Are My Blog Stalker...

You are my blog stalker if:

1. You find yourself up at 12:00 a.m. and you're still looking at my blog trying to figure out ways to annoy me. You tend to do this every night reading the same pieces over and over and over spending hours thinking about ways to annoy me, which when you implement I just simply laugh at or ignore.

2. You visit my blog often and you know deep inside you want to be me, not like me but actually ME. I know this because not only are you obsessed with my blog, and everything I write, but you were also obsessed with viewing my then-girlfriend's profile as well...over and over you looked at her...over and over.

3. You visit my blog often because you think I'm after you or concerned about you even though I've never met you in person and you can see by my writing I'm not interested in you in the least, or really anyone in particular, but especially not you.

4. You visit my blog often because you wonder what I have that you don't have and whatever those things are, you want to destroy all of them.

5. You visit my blog often trying to dig up dirt on me or for ideas about titles to posts you think will make me think you are writing about me. You crave my attention. You crave it.

6. You get on your computer every morning and as soon as you get home nearly every day and go to my blog first. I know this because there you are on the list every day.

7. You're angry because you think I've gotten the attention that you really deserve instead, and so, you comb through my blog to search for information that you might try to use to discredit me. You search, you search, you search and you search.

8. You visit my blog often but don't like me, and we both know you don't like me...and I still don't care. Why do you return? Why do you keep making an obvious spectacle of yourself? You really want to stop, but you just...can't...stop.

9. You follow every post I make with one of your own, or more than one, and you continue to think you harass me in this way because you're so unhappy with your own life and really can only live vicariously through me, craving my attention, for which you simply don’t qualify on any level.

If you read this and saw yourself then please consult your mental health professional. If you read this and see someone else, please help them...please...

Again, we all know what this is about. You were desperate to speak with my girlfriend, who just put you off because you didn't qualify and couldn't. Once you found out she was my girlfriend you went crazy. You posted nasty blogs about violence against single mothers and sent disgusting private emails that got you thrown off the site. Now you see yourself as my tormentor despite the fact that you are an irrelevant cockroach and I feel nothing more than pity for you. You are a sad spectacle...

Get some help...please..

-Alih-